What to Wear for Your {Deadly Sin}

Hey dolls! I hope you enjoyed our #7DeadlySins writing prompt. By now, you probably have an idea of which sin you’re in danger of committing. If not, run, don’t walk, over to Scott’s piece… but watch you don’t trip on one of the 7 Deadly Sins of Running on your way.

Maybe you even have an upcoming Bumble date! In that case, you’ll want to bone up on the 7 sins of online dating and how to navigate them.

But what will you wear?!

Fear not, fallen angels, I’ve got you covered… literally.

Greed

Green is the color of greed, and that’s not because it’s a simple letter switcheroo. I’m talkin’ money, honey! And since you can’t swath yourself in literal dollars, reach for the next best thing.

Ms. MoNeYbAg$.

Bonus: watch Envy’s eyes flash emerald as your keep the color all to yourself. That’s how these sins work!

To really nail the what’s-yours-is-mine-what’s-mine-is-mine façon, drizzle yourself in baubles of gold and platinum. Greed’s never looked so good, dahling!

Wrath

Paint the town red as you paint the town rage. Strike that, reverse it. Oh, cool your jets. Like your color wasn’t going to be crimson, mon petit cerise?

Red is the Wrathiest color.

Red is alarming, it’s arresting. It commands attention, it goes first. Red screams power; let’s be honest, it just plain screams. It matches your face when you scream.

Just one question… why u mad?

Lust

Dress for the male gaze in Yeezy Season 2. Skintight bodysuits in a rainbow of flesh tones will really complement the color of your… well, flesh.

Goal: to walk down the street and make others wonder, is she naked?

Can’t get your hands on the official gear? You’re not the only one. Check out Naked Wardrobe as a suitable substitute.

And don’t forget to pick up Urban Decay’s Naked Palette to finish off your smoky no-makeup makeup bedroom eyes.

Send nudes without ever even disrobing, you Lusty little minx, you.

Sloth

You love leggings, big sweaters, and you just traded in your Uggs for Sorel or Hunter boots. Lemme guess, your favorite season is fall? Congratulations, Sloth, on being lazy af.

But I’m so tired from wearing this shawl.

Well, have the stars aligned for you this season, ma belle. You’ll put the basic in “basics” with your all-pumpkin-spice-everything wardrobe—stock up!

Please, don’t move. That’s what online shopping is for.

Pride

If Pride’s a sin, then forgive you, Father. The day you feel bad about being proud of your motherland is the day you die. You are a patriot.

Red, white, and bl-you.

Did Lenny Kravitz feel bad when he recorded “American Woman”? Did Mel Gibson feel anything besides blessed when he defended his home country in The Patriot?

It is with the utmost Pride that you wear the colors of the flag—red, white, and blue. God bless Amérique.

Gluttony

H&M, Forever 21, Zara, Charlotte Russe. MISSGUIDED, Urban Outfitters, ASOS, Primark. You don’t care what, you don’t care how, you just want your fashion FAST! You are one Nasty Gal.

Glutton be shoppin’.

It is for that reason that you must hand make every item in your wardrobe from here on out. Gone are the days when your Gluttony is someone else’s misery. Every stitch, every rivet, every button will be applied by you. Hope you took Home Ec!

From the couturiers in Paris to the factory workers in Bangladesh, you will be kindred spirits with every garment maker in the world.

Envy

Sorry, Envy, all the good colors are already taken. But isn’t that how it always seems to go??!

Your color is tan. Not sunkissed tan, like if Lust were vacationing in St. Tropez. Your accountant dad’s Dockers tan. The neutral of the 90s.

The leaves are greener on Envy’s side of the fence, too.

Pebbles. Weak, milky coffee. The background color of a Michael Kors jacquard that aspires to be Louis Vuitton’s. Lots of very adequate things are tan, Envy, be grateful!

You’ll look… just fine… in your tan ensemble. Just don’t stand too close to Pride.