Prompt Images
Me: Truth or Dare?
Dylan (my best friend Christina’s boyfriend): Truth.
Me: What was the first thing you noticed about Christina?
D: Def that ass yo! Haha, but seriously—she has a great ass—her wonderful smile and pretty eyes. The boobs were a bonus. She’s got a lot of self worth in this world, and I really was drawn to that.
Me: Truth or Dare?
D: Dare.
Me: I heard Truth. Are you aware that Christina likes me more than you?
D: Very much aware. In time that will change though!
Me: Not likely. Truth or Dare?
D: Truth?
Me: How many people have you slept with?
D: Fuccckkkkkkk. Is it bad to say I forgot? Or at least, I don’t think about it anymore since I got with Christina. To be safe, let’s go with over 8, under 10.
Me: Mmmhmm . . . *makes a note in my notebook*
D: What are you doing over there?
Me: DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT. Truth or Dare?
D: Dare.
Me: I dare you to answer the following question—
D: This feels rigged.
Me: TEN POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!
D: What is happening . . .
Me: Would you have a MMF threesome if Christina wanted to?
D: Yes, as long as Christina agreed to it. But only in a last-minute clutch if our relationship was going down the shitter; we’d have to be in a bad state.
Me: I see, I see.
D: Was that the right answer?
Me: I’m not the one answering questions here!
D: Clearly . . .
Me: Your insolence is noted. Truth or Dare?
D: Are you going to ask every time? Because it seems like I don’t get to pick Dare . . .
Me: TRUTH. OR. DARE?
D: Truth.
Me: Who is your celebrity crush/free pass?
D: Ohhhh, it’s tied between Bill Murray and ScarJo—or they both can come in at the same time. I’m up for a threesome!
Me: That’s . . . weird. *heavy side eye* Truth or Dare?
D: Truth.
Me: If Christina met Kit Harington, would you be bothered if she slept with him?
D: Oh motherfucker! Ugh. I would be disgruntled. Would I let her do it . . . ummm. Only if he agrees to eat cake off her ass. But we’d still have to talk about it. I don’t know! I’m not good with sharing.
Me: Ten points.
D: To or from Gryffindor?
Me: Ten points. Truth or Dare?
D: Do I get to pick Dare?
Me: How often does Christina get to pick the movie on a movie night?
D: Why are you testing me?! The thing is, I give Christina a chance to pick out movies, but her decision-making skills suck ass. So we ALWAYS end up going with what I want. Fuck! *eats chocolate* I love semi-sweet chocolates.
Me: *notes that I wasn’t offered chocolate* Truth or Dare?
D: Truth.
Me: Would you let Christina design a dumb tattoo for you and then get it?
D: YES. Buttttt it couldn’t be visible on the body. It’d be on my ass cheek—only she can see that. Or my scrotum. But probably not. Point is: somewhere on a sexual part of the body.
Me: I dare you to do that for real.
D: Seriously?
Me: *shrugs* Truth or Dare?
D: Truuuuth?
Me: Do you plan on asking me for Christina’s hand?
D: Janna [one of Christina’s other friends, who isn’t as cool as me] isn’t the one I have to ask? Haha! Can I propose to you both? Yes, she would be upset if I didn’t come to you first.
Me: *nods thoughtfully* Good, good, good.
D: Did I pass?
Me: Truth or Dare?
D: Damn it!
Me: It’s the last one, you whiny baby.
D: OK. Truth.
Me: Why don’t you two live in Boston already?
D: Because we are both total bitches when it comes to the cold. But, I’m down to get tripled layered (if you know what I mean). It will happen in due time. We can adjust. I’d rather be cold than 115-degree weather in Texas, so maybe we will pack up and move there now!
Me: *makes final notes* Thank you for your cooperation. Your evaluation will be reviewed by the appropriate parties.
D: Am I still dating Christina?
Me: We’ll see.
RELATED
