Sonnet: My Neighbor Bought a {Peloton}

My neighbor got a Peloton
in the middle of quarantine.
They must’ve feared the packing on
of the COVID-15.

My neighbor got a Peloton—
a not-so-subtle jab
for their body, they improve upon
while I sit here, all a-flab.

My neighbor got a Peloton
and would it be too far
if, while the pedals clamor on,
I went out and keyed their car?

And so, tonight, my sweet revenge—
3 A.M. dance party with some virtual friends!