{SantaMan}: Into the Santaverse {Fan Fic}

TO: Sony Pictures Studios

FROM: Bite Size Preview Company

SUBJECT: SantaMan: Into the Santaverse TRAILER

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Hi all,

See attached transcript for the trailer for SANTAMAN: INTO THE SANTAVERSE.

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NARRATOR: IN A WORLD…WHERE CHRISTMAS IS IN DANGER…

 

ELLEN THE ELF: The Evil Penguins of the South Pole are threatening to erase Christmas from the timeline! I have to do something…

 

PENNY PENGUIN: It’s always been, “North Pole” this, “Santa” that. Well now, it’s time for the SOUTH POLE to be recognized as the best pole on Earth! Christmas will be WIPED from existence! And finally, PENGUIN DAY will become a reality!

 

(Scenes of Penny Penguin and other Evil Penguins creating Penguin Day decorations, Penguin Day wrapping paper, crossing “Christmas” off from December 25 and writing “PENGUIN DAY” etc.)

 

ELLEN THE ELF: I don’t have any other choice…

 

(Scenes of Ellen the Elf tinkering with a time machine at the North Pole, sweat furrowing on her brow, we see a button that says “In Case of Emergency: Multiverse”)

 

NARRATOR: THERE’S USUALLY ONLY ONE MAN WHO CAN SLEIGH ALL DAY…

 

KRIS KRINGLE FROM SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN:  Ho! Ho! Ho!

 

SANTA FROM ELF: Merry Christmas, Buddy!

 

FATHER CHRISTMAS FROM THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: And a bow for you, Susan. And a dagger for you, Lucy.

 

SANTA FROM RUDOLPH: Rudolph, with your nose so bright! Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?

 

NOIR SANTA: Where all these presents went, it’s a real mystery. I thought my detective days were behind me…

 

BAD SANTA: I just wanna get lucky and get loaded. (sarcastic) Ho ho ho!

 

NARRATOR: BUT THIS DECEMBER…THEY’RE ALL GOING TO FIND OUT WHO’S BEEN NAUGHTY…

 

PENNY PENGUIN: No more Christmas cheer! Only Penguin Power!

 

(scenes of Penguins destroying department store Christmas windows, knocking heads off snowmen, infiltrating the North Pole’s toy factory)

 

NARRATOR: AND WHO’S BEEN NICE…

 

KRIS KRINGLE: Well, hello there! My name is Kris Kringle! My real name is… Claus. Santa, Claus!

 

SANTA FROM RUDOLPH: Hey, that’s my name, too!

 

FATHER CHRISTMAS: Actually, my name is Father Christmas!

 

SANTA FROM ELF: We’re all Santa!

 

ELLEN: Okay, I know this is a lot to explain, but we’ll all have to work together if we want to save Christmas!

 

ALL SANTAS: Save Christmas!?!?

 

NARRATOR: OR ELSE CHRISTMAS… IS SNOW MORE.

 

SANTA FROM RUDOLPH: On Dasher, on Prancer, on Vixen! On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, on Blitzen!

 

RUDOLPH: Meep meeeep.

 

KRIS KRINGLE: I finally want to learn your story, little fella.

 

FATHER CHRISTMAS: We must alert Aslan! He can help us!

 

SANTA FROM ELF: Don’t think your pal Aslan is in this universe, Father. My deputy Papa Elf is nowhere to be found…

 

ELLEN THE ELF: Come on, Santas, let’s make some Christmas magic!

 

BAD SANTA: Okay, but somebody else has to drive the sleigh. I’ve already had one too many egg nogs…

 

NARRATOR: SANTAMAN: INTO THE SANTAVERSE…

 

ELLEN THE ELF: Penny Penguin, you’re going down!

 

PENNY PENGUIN: Not even an ARMY of Santas could stop the imminent worldwide takeover of Penguin Day!

 

NOIR SANTA: This wisecracking Penny Penguin dame’s no good!

 

KRIS KRINGLE: Now, my best friend Topper is a penguin, and I see why he left the South Pole! You’re not very nice, Penny Penguin!

 

SANTA FROM ELF: Christmas magic, let’s hear it!

(Montage of Santas all put their hands in, and start ho-ho-ho-ing, hurling presents at penguins, riding around on sleighs and reindeer, building toy Nerf guns, inhaling cookies and milk, etc)

 

TITLE CARD: SLEIGHING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU