#OscarAlternatives – Tips for Those Not Invited

With the Oscar nominations fresh in our minds, I quickly realized, like many of you, I will not be invited to the ceremonies. Given all that has happened in Hollywood this year, I am surprised my voice is not one the Academy wants added to the choruses of progress coming from social pioneers like James Franco. I am sure you feel this pain too.

Therefore, I have thrown together a list of some fun #OscarAlternatives where you can recreate the emotional health of the red carpet from the comfort of your beige carpet.  

1. Strike up a conversation about the merits of the American Dream at an Ivy League networking event in your city.
2. Go on a weekend trip to Montauk with a group of 20+ pre-existing friends who all went to college together at Vanderbilt.
3. Call your parents expecting affirmation.
4. Start a blog about your life-changing experience on Birthright.
5. Root for the New England Patriots.
6. Negotiate the shutdown of the federal government as a Republican (or a Democrat).
7. Wear an “I’m With Her” shirt with an Al Franken campaign button.
8. Craft a #MeToo post from the male perspective.
9. Deride Ladybird as just another coming of age film, then defend your taste by saying Woody Allen is your favorite filmmaker. Do this unsolicited in an appropriate setting. Like a Gender Studies class.
10. Watch the Oscars.

Thanks for taking a look at my #OscarAlternatives! Drop me a line and let me know what you end up doing in March. Maybe I will join…that is unless Meryl Streep reads this post and invites me to be her activist-date. @MerylStreep, have you read this post?

The author is a struggling actor with little societal awareness, emotional health, or talent. You can catch his one man show “Jealous,” which has been running continuously for 25 years.