A Note To My Neighbor Who Won’t {Recycle}

Dear 204,

We live in a nice place, wouldn’t you agree? Our complex looks out for us. They clean the dirt off of our side paneling and paint the railings on our patios. They cut the grass, plant tulips along the tree-line, plow our roads during snowstorms, and take away our Christmas trees for free every year.

But what they don’t do, and have never done… is sort our recycling.

It’s a one minute walk to the dumpsters, and it’s even about twelve feet shorter for you than it is for me. I do it every week. I know the large bins like family; The blue bin eats my apple cores and my mini white chocolate wrappers. The green bin eats my beer bottles and my old batteries. I feed them well, and I do it accordingly.

204, you have made my short treks to the recycling area a pain in my ass.

You’ve got about a foot of height on me, yet you somehow can’t throw your bags over and into the bins. No, you leave them on the ground. Not only that, but they are wide open and are only about half-full of recycling, mostly trash.

I’ve gotten to know a lot about you because of this:

You shop at Safeway. You use sulfate-free shampoo. You love pizza, and hate the environment.

Because of you, I had an eerie encounter with a band of racoons rummaging through your open bag of half-eaten pizza. You were close this time, I’ll admit. The amount of water bottles that you go through left it an almost full bag of recyclables. I’m still not sure if I stepped in raccoon shit that day, or some old, sticky brown food of yours. What’s the difference, really?

204, I’ve been racking my brain as to what would explain your slovenly habit. Maybe you have back problems, or a sprained wrist, or have vertigo… or maybe you’re just plain lazy. Regardless, I have a suggestion.

If you can’t properly recycle, could you please, please consider reducing, or re-using?

And maybe finishing your pizza?

I may not be a fan of your recycling habits, but you have great taste in pizza toppings, so I know that there is some good in you. Reach deep down for that goodness inside of you and channel it into the insight on how you are negatively affecting our community.

Pretty, pretty please sort your recycling.

Sincerely,

Not a raccoon