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ALEXANDER AND THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD ENTIRE ADULT LIFE by Judith Viorst
Alexander learns the hard way that—compared to the trials and tribulations of adulthood—even the worst day of your childhood is a veritable party.
IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A MARIJUANA EDIBLE COOKIE by Laura Numeroff
A boy learns of unintended consequences after feeding a mouse a marijuana cookie, such as demands for Taco Bell delivery and a thorough listening to the Pink Floyd catalogue.
JAMES AND THE GIANT STUDENT LOAN DEBT by Roald Dahl
A now-adult James seeks to flee back to Britain after a massive debt owed to Columbia University cripples his finances.
OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL NEVER GO by Dr. Seuss
The reader is walked through a bevy of gorgeous landscapes that he’ll never visit due to the ever-shrinking purchasing power of the middle class.
HARRY POTTER AND THE MESSY DIVORCE by J.K. Rowling
Boy wizard Harry Potter may have slain Voldemort, but he cannot vanquish his propensity for spotty employment, leading a 40-something Ginny Weasley to leave him while she can still ride a broomstick, if you catch my drift.
THE PLASTIC TEEN RABBIT by Margery Williams
A lonely, single mother, through pleasuring herself to repeated fantasies of the teenaged lifeguard that works her children’s pool, brings her plastic rabbit vibrator to life.
WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE NOW by Maurice Sendak
An account of the day-to-day lives of Neve Campbell and Denise Richards in 2019.
WHERE THE RED FERN GREW by Wilson Rawls
Billy returns to the Ozarks to find the grave of his beloved dogs, Old Dan and Little Ann, which has been bulldozed by Marty and Wendy Byrde, in their latest maneuver to stay ahead of a Mexican drug cartel.
CHARLOTTE’S WEB OF LIES by E.B. White
A prequel to the beloved classic Charlotte’s Web where we learn how Charlotte first discovered her talent for psycho-sexual manipulation.
THE PHANTOM TOLLBOOTH TICKET by Norton Juster
A man’s credit history is besmirched by the failure to pay a tollbooth ticket that he swears is fraudulent, because he has E-ZPassⓇ, and don’t his tax dollars pay for the goddamn roads, anyhow?
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