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I’m sorry to report, but I’m that friend. The token “allergic to everything” person, who makes your ideal, inclusive dinner menu impossible. You see, I’m allergic to peanuts and tree nuts. I’m lactose intolerant and gluten intolerant. I swear I’m not trying to ruin your meal, but like, I just don’t want to go to the hospital tonight.
Trust me, it’s more annoying for me than it is for you.
For the most part, I’ve figured it out so that I don’t really struggle with these allergies on a daily basis anymore. But when Thanksgiving comes around, I suddenly notice how much I can’t have. Outside of taking about three Lactaid pills so that I can eat all the dairy, avoiding nuts and gluten can be a tough task.
Let’s take a stroll through our meal, shall we?
First you’ve got the turkey and the cranberry. So far, we’re doing great. No problems. But what if the turkey’s a little dry?
Well, I’ve got bad news about the gravy. A surprise Thanksgiving signature you wouldn’t think of when going down the allergy restriction list. Gravy typically has flour to thicken it. Put a check next to gluten and add it to the “do not have” list. Luckily, my mom makes the best, creamiest mashed potatoes that don’t need any gravy. It’s one thing I don’t miss at all this time of year.
Passing on stuffing is a hard one to swallow. Such an integral part of the Thanksgiving meal and of course, it has to be loaded with bread on bread on bread, making it into a gluten bomb ready to explode. Sometimes I decide to rebel against the gluten, grab a scoopful and enjoy every second of the bready stuffing. An hour later, that rebellion seems foolish as I’m doubled over in pain on the living room couch. I vow to never do it again until Thanksgiving comes around and I’m tempted with all these delicious, yet so dangerous, dishes. Stuffing, I can’t quit you.
And no Thanksgiving is complete without green bean casserole, the dinnertime staple I most looked forward to every year. The creamy sauce, the perfectly cooked green beans, the crunchy fried onion topping. What more could you ask for in a side dish? Well, I would ask that it could somehow become just as good gluten-free but I’ve learned that might be a little too much to ask. A couple years ago my mom tried making it with gluten-free breadcrumbs, but much like a vegan turkey, it was just a fraudulent impostor. Some things you just have to let go, I suppose.
Which takes us to dessert, where pie is always the star of the show. Pecan pie was always out of the question with my tree nut allergy so pumpkin pie was always my go-to treat, but since becoming gluten intolerant, pie is a no-no. This is really inconvenient because pumpkin pie is my favorite, especially with a dollop of whip cream and some vanilla ice cream — just go ahead and throw more lactose on that lactose. But does my allergy stop any of my family members from making and eating the decadent, smooth, delight? Not at all.
But look, you’re not going to stop me from enjoying dessert. I’ve adapted to just getting a bowl of ice cream and sitting by myself as I shoot death stares towards my pie-loving family.
After many years of catering to the vegans, vegetarians, gluten-free, and nut-allergic people in my family, my mom has given up cooking on Thanksgiving. Who could blame her? Cooking dishes two or three different ways to accommodate the select few who have dietary issues can be exhausting. The McWeeneys will be taking themselves to the restaurant buffet where all dietary needs are met. I can only hope their mashed potatoes are as good as Mom’s.
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