Luke Skywalker Withdraws from Rebellion Over Mental Health Issues

Luke Skywalker withdrew from the Rebel Alliance yesterday, citing long standing mental health issues that have worsened in recent weeks. Skywalker, the up and coming Jedi, explained that the pressures of the ongoing intergalactic war have become too much for him to process on an individual level.

“Recently it feels like the weight of many, many worlds are on my shoulders. Not just Tatooine, not just Alderaan, but handfuls of other star systems too.”

Last year, Skywalker finally ended the Empire’s decades long win streak, striking the final blow in the Rebellion’s victory over the Death Star, with an assist from Han Solo, whose contract with the Rebels expires this summer.

Young Skywalker spent months holed up with Yoda and Old Ben Kenobi, at the infamous Kenobi Ranch, in an intensive regimen mastering The Force, so that the Rebel Alliance can take down the evil Empire, and restore goodness to a galaxy far, far away.

Old Ben Kenobi has a history of sanctions handed down by the Galactic Senate, as the subject of hazing accusations and unsafe workplace allegations. Ben has notably failed his students before.

Yoda, known as an unrelenting mentor with peculiar methods, including a curriculum dependent on isolation, and mind control, has long been questioned by space psychologists.

The Jedi Master’s mantra, “Do, or do not. There is no try,” is emblazoned over the entrance to the training facility Skywalker worked in every day.

Those culminating issues seemed to weigh on Skywalker. “This is a very toxic environment and there aren’t places and resources set up for us to talk about mental health. When the universe could be destroyed at any moment, people don’t want to hear about your personal troubles,” he wrote in a message posted to Instagram.

Space pundits wonder if too much is being asked of Skywalker, and if the savior mentality is appropriate in this day and age. The relentless cycle of the media spotlight, three-a-day workouts, sponsor obligations, magazine covers, award show red carpets, and the ever looming presence of evil destroying everything and everyone you love can be a dangerous cocktail for young minds, even ones strong in The Force.

It is especially a lot to handle for the nephew of a common moisture farmer.

Instead of relying on humans, some inside the Rebellion prefer to work with droids who do not have to process complicated feelings, according to anonymously leaked holographic messages from inside the Rebellion. Meanwhile sources suggest that besides battling with the Empire, many senior officials are infighting over how to address the emotional stakes of their young padawan.

Skywalker also said he felt pressure from Princess Leia Organa’s “No Days Off” mentality, and remarked upon how quickly the princess bounced back from watching her entire planet get destroyed.

“Leia doesn’t talk about Alderaan. She’s just jumped right back into work. I watched Ben Kenobi die and she was the one comforting me. I mean, how can one person keep it all inside like that?” Skywalker told sources.

Organa could not be reached for comment.

Some of the Rebellion’s other members are said to have suffered from similar mental health issues.

Chewbacca, co-pilot of the Millennium Falcon, withdrew from the revamped Boonta Eve Classic after his co-pilot and best friend Han Solo was frozen in carbonite, causing the wookie to suffer from depression and anxiety.  “RAWWWRRRGHHHH,” Chewbacca said on an emotional Instagram Live.

While Luke Skywalker may not be able to dismantle the Empire, he may be the chosen one to revolutionize the nature of training for a generations-long zero-sum war.

“Everyone always says ‘May the Force be with you,’ but no one says ‘How are you dealing with the magnitude of the Force?’ Or ‘Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the Force and its implied responsibilities?’ It’s a huge thing to unpack.”

Skywalker is considering taking time off from his Jedi training and going into exile, like his masters Kenobi and Yoda before him. The location of the facility Skywalker has chosen for his rehabilitation is currently unknown, but sources say he’s considering the remote Ahc-to for his isolation.

Erin Vail contributed to this piece.