The Last Jedi? THE LAST JEDI!

It started off like any other Monday.

I wake up, check my email. Ooh, 30 percent off at GapFactory! No, I don’t need anything. Skip.

Check Twitter. Read a few Prompt articles, a little WaPo. Check Facebook. Check Instagram. Close my eyes for another five minutes.

And then, open Instagram again, to this revelation:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPnOKuLj1FX/?taken-by=starwars&hl=en

Screenshot immediately. Send four separate group texts with the caption, “AAAAAH!!!!”

Reopen Twitter. Read some theories. Cry a couple tears of joy. Contemplate what this all means.

THE LAST JEDI.

Who is the last Jedi? Is it Luke Skywalker? Wait, is Luke going to die? Is Rey the last Jedi? What about Kylo Ren? Isn’t he supposed to be redeemed?

Are Rey and Kylo going to kiss?

(Train of thought detours to fantasy montage scene then ricochets back to the title and a myriad of questions.)

Why is the font red on the poster? I know Episode VIII is supposed to be way darker. But, like, how dark?! The LAST Jedi. Will there be more Jedi exposed? WILL THEY DIE? WHO IS GOING TO DIE? Someone’s gotta die.

Why did Disney choose to release the title today? Was this their plan all along? Or were they motivated by the thousands of Princess Leia signs at the women’s marches all over the world yesterday?

How much is General Leia going to be in Episode VIII? How much am I going to cry at each one of those scenes? (Answer: Incalculable. Perhaps the equivalent of this current California rainstorm.)

“The Skywalker Saga.” Wait, is Rey a Skywalker??? DID THEY OFFICIALLY CONFIRM THAT WITH THIS POSTER? Or are we counting Luke and Kylo Ren as the Skywalkers in question? WHO ARE REY’S PARENTS? WERE THEY JEDI, AND NOW THEY’RE DEAD, SINCE THIS TITLE IS THE LAST JEDI?

The Last Jedi. The Last Jedi. What if Rey goes to the dark side, thus making Luke the last Jedi, and Luke dies? THEN, who is the last Jedi???

What if this movie introduces the concept of a “gray Jedi”? Kylo Ren isn’t even a full blown Sith lord yet, WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Are Luke and Kylo going to fight?!??!

Think back to last week, when I had a dream I saw the first rough cut of Episode VIII. DOES THIS ALIGN WITH MY DREAM/PROPHECY? (kind of!) AM I PSYCHIC?

I know there are serious, and completely bananas national issues that demand our action and attention.

But my biggest question this Monday morning is: Why is it not December?