Life is unfortunately meaningless. However, at least there’s dessert.

The most delectable of the courses, a treat for your senses. A reward for a job well done, if you consider sustenance a job. And you should, to be honest.

These recipes have been tested and developed by master chefs who poured countless hours into perfecting their craft, only to see it be swallowed whole—as with anything we do.

Crème Brûlée

Crème brulée is a testament to complexity through simplicity. With only 5 simple ingredients, this rich dessert is a classic way to add a touch of useless elegance to your next gathering. This recipe uses your oven broiler instead of a propane hand torch to brown the sugar topping, a safer alternative that lets you postpone your demise even if only by a day.

(Serves 4)

Ingredients

• 2 cups heavy or light cream, or half-and-half
• 1 vanilla bean, split lengthwise, or 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• ⅛ teaspoon salt
• 5 egg yolks
• ½ cup sugar, more for topping

Preparation

• Heat oven to 325 degrees. In a saucepan, combine cream, vanilla bean, and salt and cook over low heat just until hot. Quietly contemplate man’s capacity for good, yet his repeated tendency toward evil. Let sit for a few minutes, then discard vanilla bean. If using vanilla extract, add it now, but recognize your willingness to sacrifice integrity for convenience.
• Beat yolks and sugar together until light. You may use a bowl to do this; however, to the extent that structure and cleanliness represent a scream into the still and silent void around us, you are free to use anything you wish. Stir about a quarter of the cream into this mixture.
• The pursuit of shared experiences is meaningless and communication between minds is at best a flailing in the dark. Your reality is both unique—in the sense that you cannot communicate it directly to another person’s mind—and terribly insignificant—in the sense that it is an accident in an indifferent universe. Pour sugar-egg mixture into cream and stir.
• Pour into four 6-ounce ramekins and place ramekins in a baking dish; fill dish with boiling water halfway up the sides of the ramekins. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes, or until centers are barely set, or until your instinct for self-preservation has been dulled by the grinding onslaught of time. Cool completely. Refrigerate for several hours and up to a couple of days.
• When ready to serve, top each custard with about a teaspoon of sugar in a thin layer. Place ramekins in a broiler 2 to 3 inches from heat source. Admire their indifference to their inevitable fate. Turn on broiler. Cook until sugar melts and browns or even blackens a bit, like the inevitable onset of death and nothingness, about 5 minutes. Serve within two hours.