An Incomplete and Growing List of Ways the Kid at the Table Next to Me is Going to Beat the Monster

punch it in the face

put a blanket over it and then kick it off a cliff

run over it with dad’s truck

hide but leave clues to a different hiding place that is a trap with spikes

make his brother run and distract it and then shoot it with a big gun

call Spiderman and then help Spiderman

ask it a riddle and then watch it starve

show it that movie of that dog so it wants to be nice

make it into a statue

use a sword to cut off its legs and then wait and count to 60 and then cut off its head

trick it into lava