An Incomplete and Growing List of Ways I Have Described My Body This Month

A failed nation-state.

A Ziploc bag of spaghetti.

A low-budget web series.

A wastewater treatment plant.

A Billy Joel deep-cut.

A crumpled up love poem.

An inconvenience.

An ongoing butt-dial.

A SodaStream that runs on lactose intolerance.

A skin tag with a neckbeard.

A Boggle timer.

An Aesop’s fable.

Garlicky.

Regrettable.