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Working class Italian men are still doing ringtones
Yes, the parmesan cheese in Parma IS that much better than anywhere else. Can confirm
Everyone should go somewhere that you have to communicate with a language barrier, relying on smiles and thumbs and full body gestures and the kindness of others
Order the anchovies
Rome was not built in a day, but it was built much faster than seems reasonable for the times because emperors do not give a fuck about slave labor or union contracts
My gosh there are a lot of stairs in old ass cities
Order the pesto
There should be way more fat people or carb loading marathoners in Italy
The Colosseum is a marvel of engineering
Passion fruit gelato is never a bad idea
Making a great pizza is both easier and harder than you think
No matter how good you already feel, going for a run in the Tuscan countryside will make you feel better
Even if you, a woman, hand your credit card to a server, they will return it and your receipt to your partner, a man, and then be slightly befuddled and embarrassed (for you? for him? for themselves?) when you pull it towards you
If you find yourself in Florence on August 10th, don’t be afraid to follow the music to Piazza San Lorenzo after hours for a multigenerational dance party where the DJ is actually pretty sick and they’re handing out plates of penne and massive slices of watermelon
There are hundreds of water spouts throughout Rome called “nasoni” so you can fill up your water bottle when it’s 100 degrees and not waste a million pounds of plastic
If a pack of American bros are in a fancy Florentine steak restaurant wearing sunglasses indoors and being terrible, it’s a good idea to apologize to the host on behalf of your nation
A dude can wear whatever he wants, but girls’/women’s shoulders and legs are apparently still too tempting to walk into a church, any church, and you’ll have to buy a 10 Euro scarf to cover your legs so that you can walk into the Sistine Chapel, where there are naked paintings, even if it’s 100 degrees
If you have the legs for it (and, no need to cover them this time!), hiking all five towns of Cinque Terre in a day is absolute perfection
It’s okay to get lost because the art history major who is curating your tour of the Vatican walks too slowly and talks too much
Dairy REALLY tastes like dairy here
Order the prosciutto
Everyone should use a bidet at least four times before passing judgment
Cars are mostly not cool, and cities are better without them
If you don’t speak Italian but do speak a bit of Spanish, your brain will have the hiccups trying to process and communicate
Spring for the beach chairs so you don’t wind up with rocks in your hair and listening to someone else’s YouTube videos on an extraordinarily crowded public beach
Please use the trains, but don’t expect them to run on time… this isn’t Germany for heaven’s sake
You’ve been hoodwinked! Garlic is mind-blowingly absent from most dishes
Food is love
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