An Incomplete and Growing List of Things I’ve Done on My Train Commute

Peel clementines

Nap

Drink coffee

Spill coffee

Clean up spilled coffee

Read The Prompt

Remind the gentleman in the black suit yelling on his phone that this is a quiet car, and cell phone use is prohibited

Put on mascara

Text sleepy selfies to my bf

Drink tea

Spill tea

Clean up spilled tea

Change seats, because the lady next to me is coughing up a lung, and I DON’T MESS WITH FLU SEASON, SON

Eat Krispy Kreme donuts

Cry

Listen to my favorite The Bachelor podcast

Remind the girl with the booming headphones that this is a quiet car, and loud music is prohibited

Stress about work meetings

Ask the kind conductor if I could please stay on this train, although my ticket is for another train, because I missed the latter and hopped on the former in my desperation, and I’m too frazzled, I’m sorry

Take a photo of the man who’s sitting across from me and giving me creepy looks, just in case something happens, and I need to identify him later

Remind the two teenage guys talking loudly about Tiffany that this is a quiet car, and loud conversations are prohibited

No longer sit in the quiet car because what’s the fucking point

Give thumbs up to the young banker dude drinking a Coors Light from a brown paper bag

Accidentally sleeve-smack the grandpa sitting next to me while trying to put on my jacket

Periodically flip my freshly washed, damp hair, so it dries more quickly

Keep an eye on a lady’s belongings while she’s in the bathroom

Hold my breath to see how long I could survive if my train/car/bus/plane plunges into a large body of water (12 seconds. Most def won’t survive.)

Kegels