An Incomplete and Growing List of Intellectual Property That’s Been Stolen From Me

.

yelling

podcasts

wanting attention

ineffectively wordy and navelgazing White Guilt

the first ever THAT’S SO RAVEN joke

every quality fart pun since 1986

situational adoption of Judaism as either an exclusively ethnic or religious identity marker in order to barrel roll out of ownership for Israel’s behavior in most conversations I am forced to have about The West Bank and/or Gaza

the KFC Double-Down

several less famous ideas for sandwiches

flat affect

Sex Boggle

most nicknames

disliking things or people as social currency

the plot of NEW JACK CITY

behaving selfishly when no one’s looking

Incomplete and Growing Lists