An Incomplete and Growing List of Whom I Blame for ALL OF THIS

Billy Joel

Racists

Centrists

Coal Miner’s Daughters

Marxists

Coronavirus for not killing him

Kid Rock

Ice Cube

Brett Favre

Russia

China

Young People

Old People

Bernie Sanders (b/c Why Not?)

Caitlyn Jenner

Nate Silver

Turtles

Ladybugs

NASCAR Moms

Soccer Dads

Elon Musk

The Police (the band)

The Police (the people)

Bobby Knight

Whites

The fucking Whites

Lil Wayne

Papa John

The ghost of Herman Cain

The marketing team for Ford trucks

Mark Zuckerberg

Anyone who complains that chivalry is dead

Hitler

Defected Baseball Players

Money

Women Named Janet

Nixon

The NRA

Krang and Shredder

Joe Exotic

Tik Tok

THE Ohio State University

Scrapple

Slavery

Joe Rogan

Geno’s Racist Cheesesteaks