Expanding the TAKEN Franchise: A Very Particular Set of Films

As a professional film critic, let me let you in on a secret.

Taken is the fourth greatest action movie franchise the world has ever seen, and the only one in the Top 5 NOT involving the god-like talents of Vin Diesel.*

Given that the prequel-ish TV series installment of the franchise has been optioned for a second season, I think it’s high time for Retired CIA Operative Bryan Mills to return to the big screen.

The following list is a review of where the films have “taken” us so far, and my suggestions for the next set of thrilling adventures for our favorite terse-talking cell phone aficionado.

Taken (2008)

Retired CIA Operative Bryan Mills must rescue his teenage daughter after she is “taken” by a group of Albanian human traffickers while traveling in France.

Taken 2 (2012)

Retired CIA Operative Bryan Mills must rely on his daughter’s help after he and his ex-wife are kidnapped by a mafia boss intent on avenging the death of his son at Bryan’s hands.

Taken 3 (2014)

Retired CIA Operative Bryan Mills must clear his name after being framed for the murder of his ex-wife Lenore, all while hunting down the real killers.

Taken 4 (2018)

Retired CIA Operative Bryan Mills must serve as his own lawyer after a years-long legal battle with T-Mobile over disputed charges for international minutes used during his daughter’s kidnapping comes to a shocking courtroom conclusion.

Taken 5 (2019)

Retired CIA Operative Bryan Mills must rescue a 2 year-old hound mix after receiving a cryptic email about the dog’s plight from a mysterious shadow organization known only as ASPCA.

Taken 6 (2021)

Retired CIA Operative Bryan Mills must infiltrate Apple headquarters in Cupertino, California to retrieve his account’s password after a series of unhelpful calls with a woman claiming to be named “Leslie” in Apple Support.

Taken 7 (2022)

Retired CIA Operative Bryan Mills must track down the owner of a slate gray Kia Sedona with its lights on in the parking lot before time runs out.

Taken 8 (2023)

Retired CIA Operative Bryan Mills must escape an incredibly awkward conversation after a case of mistaken identity leads to prolonged and ill-advised eye contact at a party where he doesn’t know very many of the guests.

Taken 9 (2000)

Retired CIA Operative Bryan Mills must navigate through a series of hilarious hijinks after Gaylord “Greg” Focker, a male nurse, asks permission to propose to Bryan’s daughter!

*Top 5 Action Movie Franchises of All Time

1. The Fast and the Furious
2. Riddick
3. XXX
4. Taken
5. The Pacifier