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When a selfish, ghastly family goes to Disney demanding a “truly magical experience,” they get more than what they bargained for.

Was it worth the wait? Our staff writers weigh in on some of the dumbest things they’ve ever waited in line to buy, experience, or do.

Some patrons don’t mind requesting a discount. But it’s a bit presumptuous, no? Bartender Sam reflects on why you should never ask.

Digital ticketing seems like it saves you time and trouble. But the truth is, it’s also robbing you of some very special buildup to your favorite events.

Please listen carefully because our menu options have changed. And they honestly make no sense whatsoever. Press whatever you want.

Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is ___ minutes.

Ooooh, you wouldn’t believe the latest scandal wreaking havoc for the Grant High School Student Government.

At the end of this life, what awaits us? Lining up to pass through the great turnstile and see what will become of the soul we inhabit.