Vampires and zombies and mummies and swamp creatures. You may not even notice, but monsters are all around us, in real life.

62 hours and counting. The agony. The misery. The self-doubt and self-flagellation. Match.com suffering: this is dating in modern America.

As a lifelong fan, Jay was so excited about the prospect of working for Nickelodeon. Sadly, they shared his enthusiasm in the sickest way possible.

At this point, the internet probably knows more about you than YOU do. Your browsing habits, your whereabouts, your deepest secrets. Is that a bad thing?

We all go through phases. Like those awkward years when Jesse gave out pets to his girlfriends and brother. What was that all about?

Do you remember the feeling of going to parties? The butterflies and possibilities you feel when the guy you flirt with might be there.

When people ask “What do you do?” it isn’t just a status-seeking utilitarian-apalooza. It’s an interesting topic. So just go with it.

In which the author learns how stupid it is to try and outrace a derecho on a bike.

ATTENTION ALL FANGIRLS & BOYS: Your blinding enthusiasm is ruining it for the rest of us on a chiller wavelength. Could you maybe just not?