Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (Especially the version from Race to Witch Mountain.)
Architect (The type of character Matthew McConaughey might play, back when he was making RomComs. Also acceptable: Fast-talking Ad Executive I can teach how to love.)
Professor (Tenured, of course. Research and publishing are for dicks.)
Fireman (The fat kind with the mustache that knows how to make spaghetti for 20. Not the calendar kind.)
Photographer (Must own loft featuring mattress on concrete floor and wood palette furniture. The more tortured by his past, the better.)
NFL Offensive Lineman (Pre-nup understood and accepted. Knows that I’m not going to relocate to Florida.)
Investigative Journalist (Print only!)
Contractor (But the type that actually works with his hands and doesn’t just hang out next to his Honda Ridgeline wearing a helmet and safety glasses with a moisture wicking polo tucked into his jeans, casually pointing at the work-site.)
Contractor (But the type that actually cares about his projects and doesn’t just work from home in his yoga shorts, muting conference calls while looking up flight prices to Montreal and occasionally chiming in to say “I’m not sure that’s an actionable item.”)
Assassin (Proficient with guns, explosives, hand-to-hand combat, but specializing in knives or garrotes.)
Six Million Dollar Man (Sound effects non-negotiable in the bedroom.)
Police Detective (Must be AT LEAST 60 percent not racist. Bonus points if willing to say that he’s too old for this shit, on occasion.)
Assistant Director (Likely named Dan or Joe or Bob. Proud graduate of THE Ohio State University. Hasn’t been promoted for 8 years. Decent with a spreadsheet. Bad at texting. Only does chest and arm exercises at Lifetime Fitness. Went to Puerto Vallarta once, but didn’t like the food. Watches syndicated reruns of Two and A Half Men. Positively rolling in Kohl’s Bucks. Thinking about buying a speedboat.)