The Celebrity Boyfriends Who Visit My {Dreams}: Volumes 1 through 3

Occasionally, I dream that I am one half of a star-studded relationship. Sometimes it’s with an actor starring as their fictional character (shout out to Jack Shephard. Love you forever!), but usually the dream is that I’m dating the actor, in real life. It’s pretty sweet that my subconscious rewards me for sleep with some of these A-list lovers, so I want to pass the goodwill on to you.

Below are snippets of my dreamscape relationships with 3 famos.

George Clooney (a throwback, circa May 2013)

We’re at the movies—my brother (Joey), George Clooney, and me. George’s face is covered in grey scruff. George has taken us to see Monuments Men. Joey and I are catching up and laughing throughout the movie. George looks over, and I know we should be more respectful, but we’re having fun. George leans over to scold us. I smile at him over Joey’s head. He smiles back.

The movie is over, and—thanks to the effortlessness of dream transportation—George and I are back in my room. We’re sitting on opposite ends of my bed. It’s the bed from my dorm room with the white comforter covered in outlines of big black flowers and yellow accents. George pokes at me with his foot. I return the gesture. We start laughing.

We’re walking through a carnival. There are string lights above us. There are lights everywhere. He’s holding my hand. No, it’s not a carnival. It’s one of George’s functions. We’re both dressed up. My dress is gold. George leads me into a waltz. He spins me around the dance floor. He pulls me in close. Suddenly we’re swing dancing. I feel like I’m glowing.

I wake up.

Adam Driver (sometime before/after the premiere of The Last Jedi)

I have a pink book bag, and I’m going to class. Next, I’m in class at my desk. The room has a lot of windows on the top floor of a building that seems like it’s in a business park.

In my class is Adam Driver. His hair is long—his nose sharp. I focus on my breathing for a moment. I realize that my pink backpack is still on and squeezing me in my chair. I take it off and unload my school supplies onto my desk. Adam looks back at me with a smile, and I realize that we’re friends. But how can we be friends when it’s Adam Driver? Well I know that he is Adam Driver, but I’m unsure if he knows… He seems younger. Closer to my age.

I’m looking out the window and it’s grey. I’m outside the building and it’s windy. I’m definitely in a business park. I turn around towards the front of the building and Adam is there. He’s walking towards me. He stops in front of me and starts talking. He’s so tall. He’s so warm. I’m trying really hard not to ask him about Star Wars because I know he’s my friend and that’s rude. I realize that he is in love with me. Do I love him?

As I’m trying to reckon with my feelings and the nature of our relationship, he takes my hand and moves to walk down the street…

I wake up.

Tom Brady (the most recent recurring cameo, circa January 2018)

It’s a secret that only we know. We’re together, but it’s on the down low.

It’s fall. I’m getting ready to help my friend Sarah decorate for her Halloween party. She wants to go all out this year. Sarah has a studio apartment, but the party won’t be in that apartment. It’ll be in a dorm hall. We’re decorating the hallway, deciding to split up to cover more ground. I turn down a hallway with brown walls. I’ve plastered it with jack-o-lanterns and orange streamers and skeletons.

A door opens beneath a streamer; a hand pulls me inside.

It’s Tom Brady. He’s wearing his uniform, minus the pads. I’m in my high school cheerleading uniform. I’m small next to him. He’s happy to see me. He picks me up for a kiss. He takes my hand and we go back out into the hallway. He is in jeans now. He is going to help me decorate. We open a door into the dorm lounge, and Sarah is already there. She turns around with a look of shock on her face upon seeing Tom. We laugh at the reaction. I explain that we are dating. She can’t tell anyone, and she also can’t go back to normal. It’s Tom Brady!

He sits in a chair and pulls me onto his lap as he starts to casually chat with Sarah…

I wake up.

When I wake up from dreams like these, I’m often befuddled. They’re filled with so much real emotion that I’m a little heartbroken when I’m awake and my dream boyfriends actually have no idea that I’m alive. The good news is, they usually come back to me. Until next time, gents.