The Unaired Episode: Michael Cohen on MTV’s Room Raiders

Welcome back MTV’s Room Raiders! Earlier, we gave Mikey—a doltish lawyer by day—the surprise of his life when we let three FBI coeds ransack his apartment, looking for clues to determine if they would want to date him. When we left them, they were tearing Mikey’s office and bedrooms to shreds.

Data analyst Jenni Jacobs made a line straight for Mikey’s desk, getting knee deep into a cluttered mess of file folders and notebooks. “When going after a guy, I don’t care about how much money he has, per se. But it’s important to know what he is spending on. Follow the money trail.”

It seems like Jenni found more than enough relevant information and checkbook receipts to throw into some FBI monogrammed duffles.

While Jenni was digging into his desk, special agent Whitney Wilson was canvassing his closet. “Ewwww. This guy has a real porno problem,” said Whitney. “I found old Playboys in stacks under his bed, and they were like really old, from the late 90s. And then in the closet there were boxes of VHS tapes. Who would ever watch something called, Operation: Desert Stormy?” We’ll give you two guesses.

“I don’t know if I’m more worried about what he’s looking at or why he hasn’t found something more modern. I was a part of the team that cleaned out the Bin Laden compound, so I’ve seen some outdated porn.”

Meanwhile, forensic specialist Christina Crathern was turning the shelves upside down. Equipped with a blacklight, tweezers, and plastic bags, Christina had a specific goal in mind. “I’m trying to figure out what kind of man-boy lives here,” she said as she studied the diploma on the wall that read Thomas M. Cooley Law School and the Omarosa-signed headshot mounted next to it. She scanned the bookshelf but gave up when she realized it was full of Sean Hannity books. “This place smells like McDonald’s and farts.”

Will these women find what they are looking for and unlock the secrets within Michael Cohen’s walls?

Will Mikey get a chance to explain himself? Does anyone understand what attorney-client privilege is?

After the commercial break, we’ll find out what these women conclude about Mr. Cohen and whether or not they want to take him on or kick him to the curb. And immediately following Room Raiders with Michael Cohen, stay tuned for NEXT with Sean Spicer!, the show where four hopeful upstarts, Kelly Anne, Sean, Anthony, and Sarah, get a chance to become White House Press Secretary and earn a dollar for every minute they last!