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Yes, Hillary Rodham married William Jefferson Clinton on October 11, 1975. By all accounts it was a beautiful day filled with love. The two were wed in the couples living room with 15 of their friends and family in attendance. Even with those details etched in history, Hillary Rodham Clinton will forever be America’s “Always a Bridesmaid.”
Most recently and famously, Hillary was runner up to Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election. Maybe you heard. After being paraded about and told how great she was and how her time was coming, Hillary got stood up at the end of her big night. Sad!
On the bright side, she won the popular vote, which is absolutely the “always a bridesmaid” of presidential voting procedures.
Before her unsuccessful 2016 campaign, Hillary came up just a little bit “always a bridesmaid” in the 2008 Democratic primary. Even though she had patiently waited her turn as Al Gore and John Kerry struck out against George W. Bush, Hillary was ready to finally say “I do” to the Oval Office.
The aisle was clear and we all waited with bated breath for Hillary to emerge and be the main attraction. But young upshot Barack Obama came charging through the proceedings like Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate, foiling the seemingly inevitable.
And even after President Obama stole her moment, he asked her to serve as Secretary of State, the always a bridesmaid of presidential succession. And for 4 years, Hillary worked for others, and for her eventual dream. #riseandgrind
Before Hillary was ever America’s political bridesmaid, she was put aside on the personal, romantic front. Even as First Lady, she wasn’t always the number one romantic priority of her own husband. Always a bridesmaid Hillary was subjected to countless claims of her husband’s sexual impropriety, occasionally even in the elusive Oval Office. Ever-strong and ever-slighted Hillary stood by her husband as Congress impeached him and the nation volleyed punchlines about her.
For years, Hillary Clinton did what was expected and what was good for others, before herself. Like any good bridesmaid, First Lady, or Secretary of State, she’s gotten stuck in conversations that she didn’t want to be a part of and exchanged pleasantries because she knew it was what she had to do. She even dressed the part—monochromatic outfits that she can only wear once, which no one else thinks is a good look.
Like many bridesmaids, Hillary saw her peers, and even some of her subordinates, watch their dreams come true, taking their vows in front of adoring eyes. . She’s stood by as countless men have said their vows. But she maintains steadfast, smiling for all the photos, never letting on the aching and pining, no matter what. She’s a wonderful sport, sucking it up for the good of others. She dances when she doesn’t necessarily want to, and like everyone is watching. Because they always are. And if she does it right, maybe she’ll finally get her chance to be the center of it all.
But here’s the thing. America doesn’t deserve Hillary, anymore. We had our chance, over and over. We blew it.
And I don’t feel sorry for Hillary. She’s become that badass bridesmaid who doesn’t even have to give a fuck. She’s an independent woman, loyal and patient, professionally successful, and smart as a whip. She is better than what she’d been waiting for all this time. So why should she have to answer to the goals society sets for her or the goals she set in the past? She’s a smart, successful, independent woman who has already earned her place in history. And she’s rich too!
Although I’m sure being president would have been the storybook ending, Hillary is now that bridesmaid who can flip off the photo booth and dance however the hell she wants. And if a drink spills, or she bumps into grandma in the process, it’s not her problem. She’s out of apologies and fucks to give.
Hillary doesn’t need to be president. She’s a bridesmaid who answers to no one.
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