Drunk {Emails} from the Shades Valley Elementary Capital Bowl: A Rivalry Gone Wrong

November 11, 2014
8:42 p.m.

From: Deirdre Bingham <dbingo58@coolmail.co>
To: Dr. Peter Harrison <pharrison@shadesvalley.ed>

Subject: Thinking things over

Dear Dr. Harrison,

I hope this message finds you well. I am not certain whether I am technically permitted to speak with you under the terms of my current suspension, but given that I know you to be both an upstanding principal and committed educator of the very highest integrity, I feel sure that you will delete this communication without compunction should you judge it to be in violation of either the specific rules or the tenor-slash-spirit of the suspension arrangement.

I’ve had a bit of time to gather my thoughts during this (unwelcome, yet undeniably restful) hiatus from the classroom, and I want you to know, first and foremost, that I take full responsibility for my part in the unfortunate recent events which have no doubt caused you personally a great deal of difficulty. For that, I really am so very sorry. You have long been a benevolent steward of the students, faculty, AND staff of Shades Valley Elementary and you certainly deserve better than to have your name dragged through the mud of the local news and social media websites in such a truly distressing fashion. I consider you a mentor and a friend, and I do hope you’ll accept my sincerest apology.

Before I go any further, I would just like to enter a sincere plea on behalf of all present and future Shades Valley Elementary School matriculants: please consider lifting the permanent ban on future Capital Bowls. I beg you, Dr. Harrison. Don’t punish the children for my reckless choices.

I can say with great confidence that our students have a true love of learning our state capitals and sharing their knowledge in a lighthearted yet doggedly competitive way at the annual Shades Valley Capital Bowl. It has been a rite of passage for every 5th grader (for at least the three decades that I have been teaching the American geography unit); possibly it goes back even farther! (I can’t say for certain. Ms. Behrends might very well have something on microfiche that could tell us one way or the other?)

I digress.

I’m sure you’re still wondering what could possibly have driven me to do some of the things of which I stand accused. I must trust, however, that you will take what you read in the papers with more than a grain of salt. For instance, though I did bet an admittedly substantial amount on the outcome of the Capitol Bowl, I did not need the money to support a “meth habit” as was cruelly asserted by that “journalist” in the Gables Daily Gazette. I didn’t even know what meth was until a few weeks ago!

In any case, I’ve taken up enough of your time with this missive. My only intention was to convey my apologies once more and to wish you well with the close of this semester. Please pass along my regards to Mrs. Crowe and the rest of the front office staff. I hope to be seeing you in an official school capacity sooner rather than later!

Sincerely yours,

Deirdre Bingham

November 11, 2014
10:44 p.m.

From: Deirdre Bingham <dbingo58@coolmail.co>
To: Dr. Peter Harrison <pharrison@shadesvalley.ed>

Subject: re: Thinking things over

Dr. Harrison,

There was just one other thing I meant to say in my earlier email. And I hope you’ll forgive me for saying this, but, as you know, I am not one to ignore the proverbial elephant in the room.

We must acknowledge now that the hiring of Jenna Cutrone was clearly a huge misssstep. Misstep. (that word looks so funnny all the sudden!) Anyway, the blame does not lie solely with you. I was on the hiring committee too, and I therefore share some of that blame. I could not see her for what she was!! None of us could!

She does not have the maturity and what’s more She is a troublemaker Dr harrison and most likely a slut. There i’ve said it. It is what everyone is already thinking. If it werent for her this whole thing would never have been blown so out of proportion. SHE was the one who suggested we ‘make it interesting”. She denies it but that is the god’s truth, it was her idea. I was merely trying to make her feel a part of things at Shades Valley by agreeing to this. I know now now I know that was the wrong way to go about itI just wanted you to know that.

Best,
Deirdre

Ps have you ever tried new Hiram Walker apple liqueur? It’s v. good you would like it I feel sure.

Take care xo

November 11, 2014
11:22 p.m.

From: Deirdre Bingham <dbingo58@coolmail.co>
To: Dr. Peter Harrison <pharrison@shadesvalley.ed>

Subject: re: re: Thinking things over

Dr Peter- one more thing this is important I forgot this thing: I would NEVER have given Emily Bain those Ritalin pills if I kneww she would react that way!!2 She was already a champion Peter she just needed a little bit of an extra edge and I thought the whole thing was perfectly safe i really did. it was just a few of those flyover states she was having trouble and she had so many other activities she was stretched very very thin and hwose fault is that?!?! HER MOTHERS’. You cant be doing soccer AND Dance AND drama and be expecting told to hold things together academicly all at the same time that’s not going to work we both know that peter harrison. I was trying to help her! I would never knowingly cause harm to a student I love students and student love me that much is crystal clear in my belief. ok that’s all I just needed to get that out there too.

Love you
deirdre

November 11, 2014
11:46 p.m.

From: Deirdre Bingham <dbingo58@coolmail.co>
To: Dr. Peter Harrison <pharrison@shadesvalley.ed>

Subject: re: re: re: Thinking things over

Ha ha I said I love you what the heck was that!? Reflexive I suppose! Do you not think so it must be. I do love you as a freind as I know you love me as a friend that’s why i know you have my support and viceversa and I APPRECIATE YOU peter. I appreciate you so mcuh that is all i meant. Okay take care

Deirdre Bingham, 5th grade teacher, shadesvalleey elementary

November 12, 2014
12:03 a.m.

From: Deirdre Bingham <dbingo58@coolmail.co>
To: Dr. Peter Harrison <pharrison@shadesvalley.ed>

Subject: re: re: re: re: Thinking things over

bythe way i forgot also to say that i paid personally for the trophys in my cassroom and those are defiantly mine so you have to give them back to me even if i don’t get my job back that is the LAW PETer and you know that dont you yes I think so. Im going to bed now. We talk about this. We talk more about this later if you like to

your hair is like the hair of tom selleck did you know that? Probably he is before your time I bet you but you can look him up according to the internet./

Haha!

ha