Be Better Than Me: A {What If} Scenario for My Kids

Hi Future Lewis Babies,

First of all, you’re adorable. Look at those cheeks! Second of all, your dad and I are so, so sorry about your eyesight. I’m assuming you came out of the womb bespectacled. But, babies in glasses are adorable, so… We cool?

Now, while I have no doubt in my mind that you’re the most precious creatures to ever exist, and whose progeny will take over the world once you combine your power with my bestie’s kids, I do have some sage advice for you:

For the love of all that is green and good,

PLEASE DON’T TURN OUT LIKE ME.

I know. You’re shocked. I’m such an amazing mom and human being; why wouldn’t I want tiny carbon copies of myself? Well, one, I really hope you somehow got your dad’s stormy blue eyes. Genetics work against us, but damn, it’d be amazing!

I’m getting off topic.

Though I’m obviously killing the mom game, I unfortunately possess a few less-than-stellar qualities and habits that you shouldn’t adopt. Take on my love of baking. Mirror my thoughtfulness. Absolutely develop my ability to make fun of your dad—he needs to be taken down a peg every so often. But the following traits are off limits.

My Self-Doubt

Much in the way my mom pushes against my own feelings of doubt (sometimes for which I rarely, if ever, thank her), I will push against yours. But also, do me a solid and just don’t doubt yourself in the first place.

It’s healthy to have some self-awareness and know what your own limits are, but don’t put up boundaries that never existed just because you’re afraid. That’s dumb. I know it’s not cool to call your kids dumb, but when you’re doing dumb shit like not reaching your potential because you let doubts get in the way, I’m absolutely going to call you out. Because I love you. It’s called Ethnic Mom Justice, and I will wield this power liberally.

My Tendency to Overwhelm Myself

This comes in a lot of forms. Sometimes it’s just letting my anxious thoughts spin around until I can’t breathe or move. Sometimes it’s having a really thorough plan for something I want to accomplish but giving myself an impossible timeline. Sometimes it’s procrastinating on a simple-enough task until it becomes a difficult one. It also manifests as ignoring when I’ve become run down, to the point where I’m just a shell of a person going through the motions.

Basically, being overwhelmed is kind of my special talent, but it’s one you should avoid at all costs. It won’t do you any favors; I promise.

My Perceived Lack of Worth

I swear to every single manifestation of God, Ethnic Mom Justice will hit you so freakin’ fast if I see you pulling this shit.

You. Are. Worth. It. You’re worth loving. You’re worth paying attention to. You’re worth being respected and taken seriously. You deserve every good thing that happens to you. You deserve to stand up for yourself. You deserve to put yourself first (within reason, of course).

I know it takes more than just someone telling you that to believe it… but believe me on this one. However, if you’re ever struggling, just pretend you’re a white man; they have unearned self-worth out the wazoo! Just ask your dad!

Now, here’s a crazy thought:

What if you just loved yourselves instead?

You’re babies, so you don’t know this, but sometimes it takes a long time to understand that this is the only emotion you NEED to show yourself. At the end of the day, you don’t need anger or hatred. You don’t even need pride; that quickly turns into hubris, and suddenly you’re tumbling into the sea because your wax wings melted (an allusion you’ll eventually understand).

You just need love. And while I have more than should be humanly possible to give you, some should be self-produced. But I have faith in you. You’re gonna do amazing, sweeties.

Love,

Your Mom

P.S. – I’d apologize for saying “shit,” but who are we fooling? Just don’t repeat it in front of your future classmates, OK?