Why Sky High is the Greatest {Superhero Movie} Ever Made

You know Iron Man. You know Captain America (who sucks). But do you know the story of the Stronghold family?

I doubt it. I know they say ignorance is bliss, but that’s because you’ve never met Commander Stronghold’s sidekick, All American Boy, who is <Kanye voice> one of the best film characters of all time.

Let the Vail sisters introduce you to the greatest superhero film ever made: Sky High.

Sky High was released in 2005, before Marvel’s cinematic universe was inescapable, when the only superhero movies that mattered were the Tobey Maguire Spider-Mans. (Spiders-Man? Spider-Men? Spiders-Men?)

As part of its 2005 lineup, which included Chicken Little and Chronicles of Narnia, Disney rolled out a classic superhero family comedy that changed the world. This movie has everything: teen angst, Armageddon, babies, dope 80s song covers, Kurt Russell, bullies, a message about the environment, and 100 minutes of fun!

Teen boy Will Stronghold, (played by a boyishly handsome Michael Angarano) goes to superhero school, but—OH NO!—he doesn’t have any superpowers! Poor Will gets stuck with the fuckin’ sidekick nerds, whose powers include glowing, turning into a guinea pig, and also melting.

Look at these fucking nerds.

But it’s not just the underdog plot that won us over. Why do we love this movie? Because it fucking RULES. Have we sold you on it yet? Here’s a few more dope aspects of Sky High.

The cast is stacked.

Lynda Carter (AKA the OG Wonder Woman) is the PRINCIPAL of Sky High—I mean, #feminism, amiright?

Lynda Carter rules.

Cloris LEACHMAN is the school nurse and hilarious as usual.

Cloris Leachman is high key the MVP of the Sky High faculty.

Bruce Campbell is the gym teacher, AKA “Sonic Boom.”

Bruce Campbell would be a dope gym teacher.

Kurt muthafuckin’ Russell.

Speaking of the stacked cast, I know we mentioned Kurt Russell earlier. He plays Will’s dad, Steve Stronghold, AKA “The Commander.” He is a realtor/superhero who has super strength. When your real-life dad pictures himself as a superhero, this is what he pictures. Not to be a dick, but Kurt Russell is better than your dad. Kurt Russell also loves Sky High. So, take it straight from the man himself.

Kurt Russell and I would have a lot to talk about, because I also love Sky High.

Character Name Puns!

Aside from the Stronghold family, the characters are gloriously named. Will’s nemesis is named Warren Peace. Phonetically that’s /WAR ‘n PEACE/. GREAT PUN!!! But is he really Will’s nemesis? Or will they team up and defeat the real nemesis: a baby gun??

Pictured: Bad Boy™

SPOILER ALERT: Yes. They will.

Weapons That Turn People Into Babies.

While you were busy worrying that Warren Peace was the enemy, Sky High threw in a massive twist. Because the real enemy is actually a baby gun. Not a small gun that fits into a baby’s hand—a gun that turns humans into baby humans. Unclear if it has the same effect on animals. Without any spoilers, the Stronghold family must save the day with some help from Will’s gang of fuckin’ sidekick nerds.

Besides the baby gun being created out of pure evil, it’s pretty dope.

We saved the best for last. The definitive best part of Sky High/American cinema is All-American Boy.

All-American Boy, aka “Mr. Boy,” was the Commander’s sidekick and is the sidekick crew’s teacher. He LOVED being a sidekick, and even made the Commander scrapbooks of their crime-fighting times together. All-American Boy CARES. He even cares enough to call sidekick class “Hero Support” to make the sidekicks feel better. But turns out—and we’re back to spoilers again—the sidekicks were the TRUE HEROES all along. They wouldn’t have realized that without All-American Boy, the truest hero of all.

All-AMERICAN BOY!!!

So you can keep your gritty Nolan Batmans and your flashy Thors. Sky High is truly the best superhero film of all time. We are eagerly awaiting Disney to tell their child, Marvel, to do justice and incorporate this masterpiece into the MCU.