An Incomplete and Growing List of Things That Make Me an {Asshole}

The tone of my voice.
My single speed bike.
The amount I spend on coffee.
My browser history.
The 2-7 racist things I think each day.
My unwillingness to small-talk.
The fruit I’ve let spoil in the fridge.
My Upper Middle Class background.
The Netflix password I stole.
My lack of female friends.
The many people I know and pretend not to notice in bars.
My opinions about Palestine.
The parties I can’t bother attending.
My ever-rolling-eyes.
The lies I’ve told to folks I love.