Hot Takes for Tuesday March 14, 2017

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1. Mitch Trubisky is not allowed to change his name.

UNC quarterback and projected 1^st round NFL draft pick, Mitch Trubisky, made headlines this week when he announced that from now on he wants to be referred to as Mitchell, not Mitch. This is just a load of hogwash.

My sentiments exactly.

People that insist on being referred to as something specific are annoying. Don’t be like them. If you are a doctor, I’m going to call you “doc.” If your name is Jillian, I’m going to refer to you as “Jilly Billy.” If your name is Hannah, I’m going to call you “Hannah Banana.” This is just the way things are.

 Insisting that people spend their valuable time and energy to remember that you like to be called “Stephen,” instead of “Steve,” is just plain selfish. And I wouldn’t be surprised if Mitch Trubisky falls to the second or third round after displaying this me-first type of attitude.

Take Temperature:

5.5/10 – Australia in December.

2. You gotta stop with the wedding hashtags.

Weddings are the best. I’ve cried at every wedding I’ve ever been to. There’s just something so beautiful about witnessing two people affirm their love for each other. That’s why I watch so much C-Span. But, seriously with these wedding hashtags. They’re tacky. They’re rarely creative. And they’re everywhere. That’s why they have to go.

Tell em!

If you’re recently engaged, you’re going to post at least one wedding-themed Instagram a week. It’s inevitable, and I totally understand it. But ending every post with #SoonToBeSmith or #LaurenHitTheJACKpot is just so cringey.

Take Temperature:

7/10 – It’s like a sauna in here.

3. Make the monkey EVEN BIGGER.

Kong: Skull Island opened up in theaters this weekend, and though I won’t actually see it, I am in full support of this movie. Why? Cause that monkey is just so damn big.

So friggin’ tight.

There have been (roughly) 78 movies about King Kong—79 if you count that stupid 1998 ripoff Mighty Joe Young. I’ve seen zero of them—except Mighty Joe Young, I saw that one—so I don’t know much about the actual plot. But, what I do know is that in the original, the gorilla was like the size of a small house, and in Kong: Skull Island he’s like the size of 100 regular sized houses. That’s awesome.

Huge animals fascinate me. I’ve basically memorized the megalodon wikipedia page. My advice to the people behind all the Godzilla, King Kong, monster, and shark movies: go big or go home. Check out the subreddit r/imaginarybehemoths if you share this fascination too.

Take Temperature:

1/10 – More tingly than hot.

4. People that bring notebooks to the gym are trying too hard.

I always wonder what the people at the gym are writing in their notebooks. What kind of workout plan requires diligent note taking? I don’t know about you, but I’ve never gotten the urge to do some journaling in between sets of squat thrusts.

Going to the gym is easy: you walk around for like 15 minutes staring at your phone, ask the guy if he’s almost done using the bench press, do like 30 crunches, walk on the treadmill for 7 minutes, and then drive home feeling bad about yourself. Life’s too short to review every set of kettle bell lunges you ever do.

Take Temperature:

2/10 – Paul Giamatti

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