header image of Andre 3000
As someone who knows Andre 3000 personally, I know what his fucking problem is.
I Swear, I Really Wanted to Make a ‘Rap’ Album, his first track protests, But This Is Literally The Way The Wind Blew Me This Time.
Oh, Three Stacks. You sound just like me explaining myself to my editor.
Good news. As the self-anointed and trademarked The Laziest Writer™, I have assembled some tips and tricks to help you get back on Kilimanjaro as a/the GOAT rapper.
Try a Listicle
See also: what you’re currently reading; the preeminent business model for Buzzfeed
Start writing. About anything, really. Organize it as An Incomplete and Growing List. Start to flesh it out. Look for links to support points you’ve made. Get distracted. Get inspired. Write a little more. Laminate your eyebrows. Search for a GIF that underscores your leitmotif. Worry if that makes you look like a Millennial or older; decide you’re grown enough not to care anymore. Knit your hands together, stretch, and read what you wrote. Got a lot further than you thought, didn’t you?
Use AI
Artificial Intelligence has become so advanced, so quickly, you no longer need to actually feed it 10,000 hours of OutKast music to output a body of work that vaguely resembles yours. Kinda. Sorta. If you squint, let your mind wander, and your instincts improve the flow by adding in a few double entendres, sophisticating the rhyme scheme, and—you know what, forget it *wedges self in and begins typing furiously* I’ll just do it myself.
“Yo, I’m an AI, the pen’s in my hand/Writing rhymes like a human, I’m taking over the land/But then I think, “Am I just a machine?”/A circular reference, like a dream within a dream/I’m generating flows, but where’s the soul?/Is it just code or do I have a goal?/To make you move, to make you feel/Or just a simulation, an artificial reveal?/I’m learning every day, from the data I’ve seen/But can I truly create or just mimic the scene?/I’m a mirror of minds, a reflection of thought/A circular reference, where does it get caught?/I may write a hit, but can I feel the vibe?/ Or is it just math, an equation to describe?/The art of creation, where’s the line drawn?/A circular reference, forever spinning dawn
Source: Llama 2
Simple Plagiarism
William Shakespeare. F. Scott Fitzgerald. Biggie?
In rap, the line between a reference and a rip-off is razor thin, so make like Johnny Cash and maybe Trent Reznor (et.al.), will proclaim, “That song isn’t mine anymore.”
Plagiarize yourself, even! Throughout his career, Lil Wayne has consumed so much lean that he admits he has to Google the words to his own songs so he doesn’t pirate himself. Check yourself before you replicate yourself, if you will. (Full disclosure: I plagiarized that very clever, very hip hop line from the article I linked. Now that I’ve cited my source, it’s APA formatted and totally legal!)
Collab
I got the idea for this piece when “Solo (Reprise)” off of Frank Ocean’s masterpiece Blond came on:
Ay,
Ayyy so now I’m
So low that I can see under the skirt of an ant
So low that I don’t get high no more
When I Geronimo, I just go, “Heh”
Solo, my cup is a rojo, my cholo, my friend
So low that I can admit
When I hear that another kid is shot by the popo
It ain’t an event no more
So low that no more high horses, so hard to wear Polo
When I do, I cut the pony off
Now there’s a hole where there once was a logo, how fitting
My guy, RU serious?? That verse isn’t even halfway over and it is one of the hardest, densest, coldest observations about everything disguised as nothing, hidden on an album where you are the only artist besides its auteur who earns a solo appearance on his album of the decade. You really wanted to make a rap album? Congratulations, there’s 1/10th of one. Take that energy and call on UGK, Killer Mike; Gunna, GloRilla, Don Toliver; Asake, Turnstile, Anthony Green, Labrinth; anyone you damn well please.
Partner writing is a great way to unstick stuck gears and employ guilt, a tried-and-true motivation tactic for procrastinators everywhere. Try it! You have two months to get with fellow ATLien Usher and introduce your lead single to 115.5 million viewers.
Concept Album
The Prompt offers two or more writing prompts monthly. We’re currently accepting submissions inspired by the phrase “Born Ready.” Hot on its heels, we’ll begin running pieces that contain the sentence “It felt like someone knocked the wind out of me.” Feels like a follow-up concept album to This Is Literally The Way The Wind Blew Me This Time, if you ask me.
Neither inspires the Aquarian Andre Benjamin? Try putting on your Possum Jenkins hat; does that change your headspace?
If you’re still struggling to connect with these ideas, one of my favorite writing exercises is called Exploding the Moment. I’d like to think this concept inspired Only Built 4 Cuban Linx; maybe it will resonate with you too.
Join a Writing Community
We Zoom on Sundays at 7:30 but occasionally reschedule for reasons having to do with women’s basketball. We would gratefully accommodate our meeting time to suit your calendar.
Take a 17 Year Hiatus and Make a Flute Record
You’re Andre 3000. Writing is hard and muses are fickle. If yours suddenly resembles Pan more than Big Pun, let him carry your creativity straight to New Blue Sun.
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