Dear Brain: Respectfully, {GET LOST}!

Of all the people or things I want to tell to Get Lost! (and sometimes that’s saying it politely), the most frequent target is my own brain.

I’m a huge overthinker. If there were an Overthinkers Anonymous, I’d be a card-carrying member. I spend way too much time examining all the angles, trying to figure out what’s the best way to approach something. Should I do this, or that? What would happen if…? Just act, dammit!

Or, I might think, why the eff did I say that? Or better yet, why the eff did he/she say that? Then I spiral down into a self-imposed exile of rumination that turns it all over (and over, and over) and tells myself stories about why something happened or didn’t happen, and tries to figure out how my action or inaction impacted my relationships and/or my future happiness.

Often my brain comes up with some kind of Armageddon story that tries to tell me I screwed up some situation permanently. Leading me down a completely avoidable path of stress, self-doubt, and angst.

Well, no more, brain! You power-hungry, self-protective, ego-pleasing monster.

You can just take a friggin’ backseat. We’re going to do things my way now. Every time you pipe up with some kind of self-doubt or over-analyzing nonsense disguised as “help,” I’m gonna stop you in your tracks (or maybe tie you to them and wait for the train).

While I appreciate your “help,” you’re not really helping. (Oh, the number of people I wish I could say this to IRL!)

From now on, we’re going to take a step back, let facts be facts, and stop twisting and turning them into some kind of airy fairy tale or hideous horror movie script. We’re gonna just let things be, show up with no expectations, and let it all friggin go.

Hahhhhhhhh. Yep, that’s exactly it. Breathing, for a change, feels really good.

If you want me, I’ll be sitting on my meditation cushion.