Stop It With the Straight {Pride} Crap

You want a Straight Pride Parade?

Okay, you disingenuous douche-canoe.

Here’s what comes with your “Straight Pride Parade”:

Your basic human rights are now constantly under attack, resented, or subverted

You are now frequently told by “Christians” that you are going to hell for being straight

Your mere existence is now punishable by death or imprisonment in several countries

You are now statistically less likely to be hired and more likely to be fired from jobs

1 in 4 straight youths are now forced out of their home by their own parents

Your grandmother doesn’t talk to you anymore

Your father refuses to acknowledge your spouse

Your mother never mentions you to her friends

And some asshole comes up every goddamn June and asks why there isn’t a Gay Pride Parade

…Happy now?