MLB Opening Day: Drafting Teams for the 2021 Season

Josh and Dennis are self-described baseball diehards. In a world where interest in baseball is dying hard, Josh and Dennis are prepared to go down with the ship, three hour game by three hour game. 

This season, things are more back to normal; there will be a full 162 game season, the old playoff format is back, and the divisions were re-established. To give themselves something to root for besides a couple “also rans” in the American League, they are going to draft 10 MLB teams and try to rack up the most wins and pick the eventual champ. If one of the remaining 10 teams win the title, we will re-enact the dancing sequence from A League of Their Own. 

Dennis gets the first pick because he can grow the best mustache. 

DENNIS: Dodgers

I could talk about how the Dodgers have been to three of the last four World Series, but really, I need to take them to force Josh to select the Yankees next, the obvious number two.

JOSH: Braves

Yep, the Dodgers are the rightful first pick, but I think the Braves might have the most fun roster in the league, full of upside. On the downside, Georgia is making it easier to do the Tomahawk Chop and harder to vote.

DENNIS: Yankees

Foiled again! Fine, I’ll take the Evil Empire. Aaron Judge is cool.

JOSH: White Sox

Friend, you could have held out for a lot longer before I made that unholy oath. You may have chosen the better American League team too, but again, I got the younger, funner American League contender. Tim Anderson for life!

DENNIS: Padres

It was with this pick that Josh psyched me out, because I didn’t think an AL Central team would go this high. Whoever comes out of the NL West is going to be a juggernaut, so I’ll double down… and if it ends up being the Rockies, I’m going to dropkick a Denver hippie.

JOSH: Twins

Why did I think I could wait any longer before picking the Padres?! I’ll go for the Twins and double my intake of AL Central teams. It’s my only hope at immediate revenge.

DENNIS: Astros 

I feel so dirty.

JOSH: Nationals

You know, the Nats won the last real World Series, so technically I have the defending champs! Plus now I get to fall madly deeply in love with Juan Soto.

DENNIS: Mets

The psychological warfare continues. I can’t believe that I’ll be cheering for a team that you picked, with Jon Lester on its roster. The Mets have zero chance of winning the World Series because they’re the Mets, but they’ll help me with the wins portion of our competition.

JOSH: Athletics

A perfect segue to my pick here, because the A’s win 90 games every year, win the worst division in baseball every year, and never have a shot in hell at winning in the playoffs.

DENNIS: Angels

Remember how the Angels got Anthony Rendon? Of course not, because they could have Mickey Mantle, Barry Bonds, Pedro Martinez, plus Mike Trout, Shohei Ohtani, and Rendon and still finish seven games below .500.

JOSH: Rays

Just like the A’s, the Rays are good for tons of wins from guys you’ve never heard of, excitement that this is the year, and then a slow, peaceful death in the Fall.

DENNIS: Brewers

I don’t know what I’m doing, but it seemed like I should pick one NL Central team.

JOSH: Cardinals, ugh

This doesn’t make me one of the best fans in baseball, does it?

DENNIS: Blue Jays

At this point, I’m just picking fun teams that I can stomach having a rooting interest in. Go Vlad, Jr!

JOSH: Red Sox

Low expectations sometimes turn out well. Low expectations sometimes turn out well. Low expectations sometimes turn out well.

DENNIS: Reds

I think this is a fun team. They have Doolittle, Suarez, Votto, and there’s a drive into deep left field by Castellanos and that’ll be a home run. So, that’ll make it a 4-0 ballgame.

JOSH: Phillies

You know when you go to the grocery store and all that’s left is pistachio ice cream?

DENNIS: Orioles

JOSH: Cubs

This pick has everything to do with me remembering how great it is going to a game at Wrigley Field and nothing to do with the team’s billionaire owners contemplating selling off their young stars to recoup a little money: the real national pastime.

FINAL TEAMS:

Dennis: Dodgers, Yankees, Padres, Astros, Mets, Angels, Brewers, Blue Jays, Reds, Orioles

Josh: Braves, White Sox, Twins, Nats, Athletics, Rays, Cardinals, Red Sox, Phillies, Cubs