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Roses are red,
You are extremely online.
To get last minute valentines for your friends,
Print and cut on the dotted line!

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Roses are red,
COVID is shitty.
Has anyone told you,

You Are Pretty Mean Girls GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

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Roses are red,
TERFs can get fucked.
Trans women are women;
Bigots get bucked.

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Roses are red,
“I’m not a cat,”
Says this week’s second-worst lawyer
In a Zoom filter mishap.

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Roses are left on read
Oh wait! They literally just replied.
They had us in the first half,
I’m not gonna lie.

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Golden Globes are racist,
Violets are blue.
Emily in Paris?? Oh,
I May Destroy You.

Michaela Coel Fight GIF by HBO - Find & Share on GIPHY

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Roses are pointy,
Flowers are pointless.
My girls hold me up
Even when I feel jointless.

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Roses are boring,
Violets are fine.
But my squad is lit
Cuz you’re my Galentines.

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Roses are red,
Tension is increasing.
Masturbation is great
For stress that needs releasing.

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Roses are red,
Quarantine is blue.
I’m home watching Bridgerton
Instead of drinking cheap wine with you.

Go Away Queen GIF by NETFLIX - Find & Share on GIPHY

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Roses are red,
Men just don’t cut it.
When it’s conversation I need
Girl, you fill my bucket.

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Diaries are read,
Journals are too.
But if you read mine,
I’ll be terribly blue.

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Roses are red,
This guy is blue;
Dabadee dabadi
Is in my head too.

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Roses sometimes are red,
But come in varied hues.
Just like my vibrant daughter
My life and love and muse.

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Roses are red,
And it just hit me…
Galentines, unite!
Let’s go save Britney.

Britney Spears GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Jillian Conochan

Jillian Conochan is a professional amateur; writing and editing just happen to be two current pursuits. Opinion range: strong to DNGAF.

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