Prompt Images
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows
All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say,
“Rudolph went and called HR,
Now we need a seminar.”
You can’t exclude by one’s looks
Nor the colors on one’s face
We judge reindeer on merit
Segregation has no place
Oh how the reindeer bristled
Dasher called it just a lark
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Why’d you have to be a narc?”
Dancer was the loudest critic
“Rudolph hasn’t paid his dues
More affirmative action
Thanks Obama and fake news”
Prancer rolled his eyes at Santa
Still hung up on his visage
“Rudolph is clearly Jewish—
Didn’t you see that schnoz?”
Santa was kinda baffled
Why the reindeer seemed so pissed
This talk was supposed to clean up
North Pole Corporate’s naughty list
Vixen became defensive
Meant to say under his breath,
“Red Rudolph the commie libtard
Is only here to cause unrest”
Comet wondered aloudly,
“Did we forget how to joke?
The North Pole’s new crop of rookies
Care far too much ‘bout being woke.”
Cupid was next to push back
Speaking as the union rep,
“Allegations of any —isms
Are a libelous misstep.”
Donner was more conflicted,
“Rudolph won’t respect our ways
He won’t say ‘Merry Christmas’
It’s always ‘Happy Holidays.’”
Santa explained exclusions
On age, or sex, or history
“These are the rules we’re changing
Since we’re 501(c)(3).
“Diversity in the workplace
Promotes creativity
If we don’t hire Rudolph
We’re worse than Bon Appetit.”
Blitzen was more persuasive
Reminded them they’d all be gone.
“Let’s adapt the business model
Or be replaced by Amazon.”
Then how the others gave in
Ran out of defensive moves
Now all of the leery reindeer
Welcomed him with open hooves
Nine reindeer worked in tandem
Solved problems as a diverse team
Fewer toys made in China
The modern-day American Dream
Rudolph the “reg” nosed reindeer
Guides the sleigh with skill and grace
And the reindeer finally saw it
Once they got past his face.
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