An Incomplete and Growing List of People I Can Cosplay with My Quarantine Beard

A young Kris Kringle (Santa Claus)

Every other guy in Portland

Sideburns with Connected Mustache

An 1800s London Banker named Wednesday T. Pennyfarthing

Lemmy Kilmister (Motörhead lead singer)

A roadie for Sweetwater (fictional band in Almost Famous)

One of the slobs in an ‘80s summer camp movie

General Ambrose Burnside (Union Army)

Long Mustache

Sam Elliot (dreamboat)

Jamie Hyneman (Mythbuster)

Wild Bill Hickok (gunslinger)

Someone who gets picked on at Sturgis (motorcycle rally in South Dakota that was not cancelled)

Regular Mustache

My dad

My uncle (dad’s twin brother)

Ned Flanders (neighbor)

Marc Maron (comedian)

No Mustache

One of the snobs in an ‘80s ski movie