Quarantine Queen: A Parody for {The Great Indoors} (with Video!)

Remember 1984? An ominous year, per George Orwell’s finest dystopian novel, but truly a simpler time, when space travel was still novel and pandemics weren’t as airborne. A time when synth pop and smooth R&B weren’t at odds, in fact, they lived in harmony, often on the same track. If you weren’t alive in 1984, you may have missed many epic fire jams, including Billy Ocean’s “Caribbean Queen (No More Love on the Run).”

If you don’t know it, get to know it. It’s a banger. And then, you’ll understand why and how I wrote this inappropriate but exceptionally catchy little parody.

[Spoken]
She’s simply… homebound

[Verse 1]
It’s been 4 weeks since she had on blue jeans
And all day she sits and stares at a screen
In the blink of an eye filed her unemployment claims
Joe Exotic’s the tiger she wanted to tame

[Chorus]
Quarantine Queen
Wash your hands and keep them clean
Ass and couch they merge as one
She won’t go on a run

[Verse 2]
She’s so afraid to exit the room
And she gets so excited when friends schedule a Zoom
Electric shopping, won’t go to the store
Stocks up on canned goods like we are at war

[Bridge]
I was in search of some TP
Then I saw her stash
COVID has made us
Made us so unkind

[Chorus]
Quarantine Queen
So scared of COVID-19
She bakes sourdough for fun
Watching Office reruns

[Chorus]
Quarantine Queen
All day home, she flicks her bean
And she hasn’t seen the sun
Dirty hair, messy bun

[Saxophone Solo]

[Chorus]
Quarantine Queen
Disinfects with Listerine
Bootlegging a bathtub rum
CNN till she’s numb

[Chorus]
Quarantine Queen
Won’t leave till there’s a vaccine
Thought about buying a gun
No reason, just for fun