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It’s March Madness, and bracketmania is in full swing! You know what else is going on? Women’s History Month. This year we’re celebrating with a tournament of our favorite girlcrushes from the ’80s and ’90s.

How to Play

It’s simple! Print the PDF if pen and paper is more your thing, or work directly in Excel. Then tweet us your completed brackets so we can bicker about who would win in a fight, Kristy Swanson’s Buffy, or Sarah Michelle Gellar’s (*cough* SMG).

First Four

The tournament begins with some key matchups from sports, movies, sports movies, and tween boys’ fantasies. Make your selections and input the victors in their respective Regions (color coded). Let’s get started!

South Region

A very diverse region, the South features free spirits Vada Sultenfuss and Denise Huxtable, as well as traditional strong females, like those from A League of Their Own. But don’t sleep on unconventional picks like Lydia Deetz, whose supernatural training regimen has uniquely qualified her for success this season.

West Region

Dynamic duos dominate this region, with Bel-Air’s finest, Hillary and Ashley Banks, squaring off against Brad and Melody from Nickelodeon’s Hey Dude. But the real question is, can anyone outlast the sheer GIRL POWER! the Spice Girls bring to the bracket?

East Region

What color is your aura, rainbow bright or black as night? The answer to this question gives texture to an early match-up between Rainbow Brite and Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas. Other standouts from the East include love interests from both Savage brothers, Winnie Cooper and Topanga Lawrence.

Midwest Region

Punky Brewster and Clarissa “Explains It All” Darling are known for two things: a piebald fashion sense and being plucky as hell. Can either edge out General Apparel West’s youngest executive/all-around qween, Sue Ellen Crandell?

Omissions

Apologies to ‘The Supers’—Christy, Claudia, Naomi, and Cindy—but our selection committee had a strict no-model policy. “I won’t get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day” violates current NCAA guidelines.

This week we bid a “Bye Felicia” to Aunt Becky (Lori Loughlin), in light of her involvement in “Operation Varsity Blues.” Unfortunately Amy Smart and Ali Larter, Jules Harbor and Darcy “Whipped Cream Bikini” Sears from the real Varsity Blues also did not make the cut, due to an exceedingly high quality talent pool. Drew Barrymore, the cast of Troop Beverly Hills, and ‘The Noxzema Girl’ are other notable absences. Better luck next year.

Click to maximize or see below for region-by-region breakout

First Four

 

South Region

West Region

East Region

Midwest Region

 

Jillian Conochan

Jillian Conochan is a professional amateur; writing and editing just happen to be two current pursuits. Opinion range: strong to DNGAF.

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