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For decades, writers, directors, and producers have been obsessed with the advancement of technology. It’s more than just the world of stories—entire genres are even built on the concept. And few creators envision our flashy tech future without throwing in a couple of robots. From Star Wars to Futurama, the last few decades have been stocked with a handful of recognizable ‘bots that we’ve come to know and love (or hate, if they’re people-killing kind).
Some bots are cool. Some bots are hot. But I’m here to tell you there’s absolutely a best bot.
When people talk about candidates for this auspicious position, they often consider things like “How much easier would life be if this robot were around?” or “Could this robot protect me from the dangers of an increasingly violent and tech-based society?” Hell, they even wonder “Is this robot wearing Arnold Schwarzenegger’s skin and telling me he’ll be back?” because that might be their deal-breaker.
But none of that matters to me. Because my favorite robot has something better than every other bot in the biz: He’s really, really adorable. That’s right, ladies and ‘droids. I’m talking about Gir from the supremely weird but instantly classic Nickelodeon cartoon Invader Zim.
My love for Gir was instantaneous. As soon as that little metal weirdo populated my screen, I wanted to sweep him up in my arms and give him a cuddle. Add in his little green dog costume disguise, and he had me literally head over feet.
The Gir shoes my sister decorated to help me handle my obsession.
Gir seems to run on candy, waffles, and the love of random animals he brings into the home he shares with his alien master, Zim. He is like a child who decided to play dress up as a robot, but forgot he left the costume on, so just went on to resume his regular kid activities like watching TV and crying when he’s run out of food. Just thinking about him makes me want to squeal. He’s just so cute.
Is Gir the robot you want by your side if you’re trying to take over the world? Considering Zim has yet to do so, clearly not. His attack mode—indicated by his normally blue eyes turning red—is so rarely activated that you basically forget it’s even there. As a domestic helper, a la Rosie from The Jetsons, he’d be worse than useless. A net negative. And his knowledge stores are, well… Considering Zim’s leaders just threw a bunch of garbage machine parts into his head to create him, you can draw your own conclusions.
But Gir is just so cute! I would trade all the useful capabilities of standard robot characters just to have my own personal Gir, drinking a bubblegum milkshake and singing me “The Doom Song.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PsBxG8neok
So you can keep your C-3POs and your Robocops and your Baymaxes (although that’s a pretty cute one too). I’ll take my robots tiny, incompetent, and in a dog costume that isn’t fooling anyone.
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